Love

To Thine Own Self Be Woo

Apologies to those who have some sort of phobia towards puns, but this is a measure of love that I don’t think we consider too often.

It came to mind when a reader sent me a strange little note, in which she thanked me for some of my work, calling it “…way cool”, but referred to herself as “…mildly interesting.” She went on to talk about how she is in the process of getting rid of some old habits, old relationships, things that were holding her back from what she feels is her true joyful life.

I’m not talking simple things like my “Hey, let’s try gluten-free” lifehack. No, she’s razing parts of her life to the ground, taking tentative but optimistic steps into her future that she is seizing for herself, realizing that no one is going to do it for her.

Mildly interesting“? Hell, that sounds like an epic journey to me. It’s going to be filled with triumphs and disappointments and mistakes and serendipity and swordfights and poison spiders and Cliffs of Insanity…

Ok, maybe not the last three. I think that was the Princess Bride. But it certainly sounds more than “mildly” interesting. So why did she sell herself so short, when she’s about to do one of the bravest things a human can do?

Destructive Criticism

photo courtesy of Pink Sherbet Photography

“Don’t be so full of yourself.”

“Who do you think you are?”

“What makes you so special?”

Any of those sound familiar? Any time any of us seem to want to point out what a special snowflake we are, there are always people ready to tear us down. Ask any celebrity, though, and they’ll probably tell you who the biggest critic is: that voice inside, telling you that your fear may be right: you really aren’t good enough, there really isn’t anything special about you.

The thing is, that voice is right in some ways. We are, actually, like most people. But the thing is, most people are pretty amazing. While it’s important (and fun) to pick out ways to improve ourselves, it’s also pretty important to remember the things we do well.

Listen to Them. They Know.

So what I would suggest for the weekend is that you focus on some self-love (and yes, take that in any way you like). Think about the things you do well, the things that you do like about yourself. For example, while I don’t like the way I have a hard time making decisions, I have to admire my extreme talent for procrastination – for putting off the necessity of making them. Hey, it’s a skill, and instead of “procrastination” for this weekend I’m going to call it “Choice Preservation and Fate Diversionary Tactics.”

To quote the dating & seduction coach (and recent author) Arden Leigh (affiliate link) “whatever you can’t hide, you feature.” So pick out a few things – in fact, since this is just between you and yourself, feel free to be mean and vindictive – that you dislike about others.  “At least I don’t…” is a very powerful phrase, as long as it’s not said too loud.

The point is to find, this weekend, some appreciation for yourself, and shower the love down. There are some who say you can’t love anyone else until you love yourself – personally, I don’t know that I believe that. What I do believe, though, is in self-reliance – so if you don’t love yourself, why should you expect anyone else to?

Since you can comment here anonymously, why not share with the rest of the readers:

What do you love about yourself?

 

1 thought on “To Thine Own Self Be Woo”

  1. I love that I dive head-first into things, in a way that make a lot of people call me “reckless.” I’m not reckless – I just try to get as much out of life as I can, and no one is going to convince me this isn’t a positive attribute.

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