Life

Who’s Judging You?

Monday night I was continuing my journey into learning visually by attending a life-drawing class at a nearby community center. I’ve mainly been using charcoals and pencils for that kind of sketching, but I have a nifty new portable watercolor set that I was planning on breaking out for the first time. So, with all …

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Love

Loving Yourself Through Your Mistakes

“I’m normally really precise. I did every step in the experiment exactly as it was supposed to go, every microliter measured…except, I did it in exactly the reverse order. It was a mistake that no one had ever seen before!” ”Oh, f*ck me! I just printed one thousand beautiful event postcards…with the wrong date on …

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Practice

When Practice Gets Derailed

One of the common mistakes that I used to make about practice was that I kept waiting for everything to be perfect. “Time to sketch!” I’d say, and then putz about with sharpening pencils, adjusting the light, setting up the pose, changing the height of the chair, finding a zillion little details that needed to …

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Love

Strategies to Stop the Shame Spiral

A friend of mine who is a shining example of someone who Does the Work to reflect on and improve his life recently mentioned struggling with “shame spirals”. The term was coined by clinical psychologist Gershen Kaufman, who described it as “A triggering event occurs. … a person is suddenly enmeshed in shame, the eyes …

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Love

love plus learning cancels regret

The Most Worthless Emotion No regrets. – Robert A. Heinlein I remember reading those two words as an impressionable early teen, and wondering at them. The teen years are full of regret, after all – Why did I wear these jeans? I wish I’d asked her to the dance! Why didn’t I study for this test?!? It …

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explicit Love

shame is not love

“What do I tell my 15 year old daughter who came home with a hickey on her neck?” Recently I’ve been exploring Quora, a site where people can ask questions of the general public to see the answers. The question above was put out there, and I was astonished – and disgusted – by the number …

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