Love NaNoWriMo

The Love of the Author for the Writer

It’s really an imbalanced thing, the love the author has for the writer. “Author” is one of those identity words that falls in the realm of things you can deserve after you’ve done a particular set of things. If you’ve given birth, you deserve the title “mother,” assuming what you’ve given birth to is a human …

Continue Reading
(actual size)
Love

Three Tools for Dealing with Jealousy

Recently a friend of mine tweeted: I remember now why polyamory is not for me: Oh, the jealousy! I had to smile when I read it. In case you’ve missed the many articles and shows on TV, polyamory is a relationship model which is often held up as the opposite of monogamy. Like monogamy, there are …

Continue Reading
Love

Love in the Time of Tears

It’s a funny word, love. It’s supposed to be this nice and happy thing – the definition of happily-ever-after, in fact – while at the same time we all know just how destructive and miserable and mis-applied it can be. Rulers are brought down because of idealized expectations of what love should and shouldn’t be, …

Continue Reading
Love

Thanks for Doing the Work

This is going to be an intensely personal post. Three short memories: 1. Sitting on the couch with Natasha, both of us in tears, shaking with anger, hurt, wondering why we were in this place again. We taught workshops on communication and love and conflict resolution, but between us there was a cycle of fights that we …

Continue Reading
Courtesy Khoi Nguyen https://www.flickr.com/photos/khoind/3585453982
Love

The Difficult Questions of Love

I think when it comes to love, we are too willing to accept the short version of the story…I would propose we ask some more difficult questions, questions like: How do you decide who deserves your love and who does not? How do you stay in love when things get difficult, and how do you …

Continue Reading
Love

How to Be a Superhero Ninja of Joy

There’s an important reason that I didn’t talk about tolerations (gosh-durn-it, I still like “micro-annoyances” better) being applied to people. There’s a couple of reasons for that: one is that something that seems endearing one moment may seem unbearingly irritating the next, and even further down the road may seem wistfully nostalgic (especially if the …

Continue Reading
Love

MicroAggravations: Things You Don’t Love

A while back I mentioned the idea of “micro-annoyances” here on the blog, planning on following up on them later. Today’s the day! In case you don’t have time to click the link, the idea of “microannoyances” is working alongside the term “microaggression”, defined as: …the everyday verbal, nonverbal, and environmental slights, snubs, or insults, …

Continue Reading
Love

The Hardest Person to Trust

In case you’re wondering – and I’m certain anyone who knows me personally isn’t – being a personal development blogger does not give you any advantages in the human experience. I still lose my temper, I still binge-watch TV, I still misplace my phone and still lust after the new iPad even though I really don’t need …

Continue Reading
Love

Using Apathy to Overcome Self-Doubt

It’s a trite saying, but there’s some truth to it: before you can love someone else, you have to love yourself. There’s a lot behind that, involving self-care and not burning yourself out and not distracting yourself from your own problems by focusing on others – but at the core, it’s about skill. If you can’t feel …

Continue Reading
Love

Building the Box

“Please. Draw me a sheep.” For some folks, reading that is going to make them smile. They remember the story that is attached, of a lost pilot in the desert and a Little Prince who kept him company for a time. I warn you, those who are tempted to pick it up again: it’s not …

Continue Reading