Love

It’s Not Natural

In a long-overdue relaxing dinner with a good friend, the topic came up – as often happens with liberal cis white males – of the various versions of sexual assault and bad sex and inappropriate behavior that have filled the news of late. In talking about one particular article, about the gauche and clumsy actions …

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Life

You Don’t Have the Right to Know

If 2017 was anything, it was a year of people being called on their – well, let’s avoid using excremental language and say that many people who were used to a certain level of entitlement found themselves suddenly facing consequences for their actions. The most public of these tended to be oriented around sexual misconduct …

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explicit Love

creating consent

Friendly Coercion It’s not consent if you’re afraid to say no. It’s not consent if you’re being manipulated, pressured, or threatened to say yes. – LoveIsRespect.org This blog needs to be prefaced with what has colloquially been termed “trigger warning”: I’m going to be touching, at least tangentially, on the idea of non-consentual relations between …

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Love

Support is different than tolerance

There’s a common definition of polyamory that goes something like this: Poly is having multiple romantic relationships with the full knowledge and consent of all people involved. Like most definitions, it’s more the start of a conversation rather than the end of one, but I found in my own poly experiences that it was severely …

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