Love

Week 2 of Creating Your Lover’s Day

In case you missed Week 1, this is part two of a three-part series leading up to your own customized “Lover’s Day,” on or around February 14. Yes, there are other types of celebrations that time of year, and you’re welcome to celebrate them, too – but this is about creating your own.

It’s All About Them

Now that you’ve gotten a good idea about your own relationship to love, it’s time to focus on the object(s) of your affection. Remember, we’re not limiting you to romantic love here – Lover’s Day is about love of all kinds, so if you want to focus on your love of pepperoni pizza you get on with your bad self.

Take the week to study your subject. Start with the simple things: what do they say they like? Do they have an Amazon Wish List? Do they clap excitedly when news of a new Dr. Who episode is announced? Is the Monday Night Bowling League the highlight of their week? These are the broad strokes, the low-hanging fruit You could almost certainly build some kind of Lover’s Day ritual around them with a good chance that it would be well-received.

But why limit yourself? Go into stealth mode; study your amour as if you were Sherlock Holmes, looking at the things their actions and possessions tell you. Be careful! I know a woman who got a frog knickknack as a “White Elephant” gift and made the mistake of putting it on her mantle. People who knew her assumed She likes frogs! and from then on she was guaranteed to get some kind of frog-themed gift – which she then felt obligated to put on display, thereby continuing the vicious cycle.

She hates frogs. Be more observant than her friends and family! Watch for the things that catch their eye – a certain kind of car, a pair of boots in the shop window, the preview to a movie that they might not expect you to watch with them. In these little details of their life you can find the ingredients for a truly spectacular Lover’s Day.

“Knowing is Half the Battle!”- G.I. Joe

Back when Defense was as simple as a nuclear reactor in your thigh.
Back when Defense was as simple as a nuclear reactor in your thigh.

It’s not called “Lover’s Gift.” Just getting them that thing is not doing justice to the idea of love. Start to speculate on how to deliver that thing; what kind of story can you create around it? I’m talking about a gestampkunstwerk, here, an overwhelming experience of the senses, like the birthday I had as a young boy where my parents decided I’d have a G.I. Joe theme (original Joe, by the way, not the cartoon). They created a costume for me, they made big props, they even spray-painted small cans of beans and such to resemble C-Rations. Did I get cool birthday presents, too? Definitely. I think that might have been the year I got the “Atomic Man” action figure, in fact. But what I remember most vividly was feeling loved by my parents as they created this for me.

That’s the level of creativity we’re talking about for Lover’s Day. You need to do your reconnaissance, explore both the known knowns and the unknown knowns, to quote that incurable romantic Donald Rumsfeld. Take your time. Use a notebook. Pay attention to your love and see what you can learn.

Along the way, enjoy the side benefit of the human trait of increased affection for the things we pay attention to…

 

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