Love. Life. Practice.

Personal Development with Gray Miller

the practice of reflection

Whatever you do, don’t look behind you!

There’s a very scary shelf among my books. It contains words that make me cringe, shudder, draw back in horror – and that’s not from reading them, it’s from the mere idea of reading them.

They are my journals.

While they’re not all quite in order, they do stretch back quite a ways – to middle school, in fact. In it are not profound thoughts, deep reflection, positive wisdom on the state of the universe. No, instead there is insecurity, fear, jealousy, selfishness, lost dreams, abandoned hopes…

Or, at least, that’s what I tell myself. It’s why I don’t read them terribly often. A fellow journal-writer and friend said it pretty succinctly:

I suffered immensely at the hand of my past. Re-reading that is to relive it, invoke that shame and disgust. And it is hard to get past that.

Hard indeed. But worthwhile, if only for the whole idea that those who are ignorant of their history are doomed to repeat it.

Image courtesy Kanghee Rhee via Flickr CC

There be monsters…

Pattern-Busting

One of the most practical reasons to re-read journals and blogs is to be able to read between the lines. You have a distinct advantage over the person who wrote whatever words you’re reading: you know what happened next. That means you can start to recognize cause-and-effect. Perhaps more importantly you may be able to recognize when an effect is not caused by something. Either way, you have new information from which to plan your future.

Of course, that’s another lesson you will learn from reading it: things don’t always turn out the way you expected. The things you feared? Didn’t happen. And if they did, they were likely not as apocalyptic as it felt at the time. Unfortunately the flip side is true, as well. Those things you looked forward to, that you worked diligently towards until you achieved them – likely they didn’t quite match up to the expectations.

Again, both of those are useful lessons to learn, especially when you’re trying to plan for the future. But the fact that a practice is useful and practical doesn’t make it any more appealing when you dread it. If that were the case, I’d be doing a lot more yoga in my day.

So how does one get past the paralysis of autographochronophobia, a word I just made up to describe the fear of one’s writing about times past?

Not Feeling Yourself

I can’t speak for my friend, but while I share his loathing for revisiting the past, I can say that like many fears when faced it turned out to be much less difficult than I expected. It took a while, but I realized why that was: I am no longer the person who wrote those words.

That person was still either in the middle of or just barely beyond whatever traumatic events I was writing about. There were still fresh memories; the images were connected to intense reactions of neurochemistry, emotional maelstroms of anger and sorrow and grief and whatever.

That’s not the case when you re-read it. Instead you are removed from the situation, enjoying the benefit of perspective. You have greater strength and resilience that comes from having survived longer than that person who wrote the words. Not only that, you get to remember that you did survive all that – a reminder of the simple and admirable skill of survival.

Perhaps you’re in a better place now – then you’ve got even more reason to celebrate! I know I’ve looked at some journals from about twenty years ago and just shake my head. How did that young man manage to do all that stuff? I’m tired just reading it! My life now is both more simple and more wondrous than he would have ever been able to imagine.

Riding the Changes

Your motivations and values have changed – either become more refined and clear, or perhaps changed completely. You can see what dreams you carried with you, and what ones you left behind or traded in for new dreams. The same applies to friends, family, food, and probably a few other words that begin with F.

You may still have some things in common with that person who wrote the journal. You certainly owe them a debt of some kind, whether that’s positive or negative, because it was their action that put you where you are now. Perhaps you want to let them know how that makes you feel. No, it won’t make a difference to them, but it certainly can make a difference to you.

That’s why it’s not only worth it to make a practice of journaling, but also of reviewing your journals. Take advantage of holidays, for example, and spend an hour just paging through your past thoughts.

It’s not as scary as you think. It can’t hurt you; whatever pain was possible has already been inflicted. Instead it offers a chance for further healing, for more strength, and for a better future.

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Show Up for Success; Final Evaluations; Searching for Love

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searching for what you love

Everything I needed to know

about Love

I learned from a Search Engine

Part of my day job is “CMS Administrator.” CMS is geekspeak for “Content Management System”, and it is a catch-all term for blogs, video courses, news feeds, anything that brings you content on a regular basis.

Occasionally I put up a piece of content for a client and they can’t find it. They write me and say ”This was supposed to be live on friday, where is it?”

Usually it’s a search error. The content schedule might say “Article About Identity Theft in Serbia.” Meanwhile, I’ve renamed it “Someone’s Stealing Selves in Sarajevo” (note: I would never!) I’d also tag the post with things like “identity theft, serbia, tourism, tourist, danger, travel, passport, protection” The original draft title, though, would be totally left behind.

My client only sees the content schedule, and her search for “Article About Identity Theft in Serbia” gives zero search results. She emails me irately: Where’s the post?

I go to the search field and put in only the most relevant term: ”Identity Theft”. There’s the article I put up for the client, as well as a whole bunch of other content about the same subject.

The Art of the Search

Take a look at the suggestions from Google for searching:

  1. Keep it simple. You can always be more descriptive later.
  2. Search using your voice. Sometimes making it conversational helps you frame your search better, and most computers/phones/tablets have mics now.
  3. Use web friendly words. How would other people describe what you’re looking for?
  4. Don’t worry about the little things. Google’s smart enough to figure out most misspellings and capitalization, and punctuation is pretty much ignored. Don’t worry about it!

Less Gets More

What is essential is invisible to the eye – Antoine St. Exupery, The Little Prince

This brings us to the point of the post: sometimes we believe we have a perfect idea of the things that we love. It may be a person, a food, a kind of music, an area of the country.

If we hold too tightly to that preconcieved idea – that first draft – it can mean that when things change, we lose it, or think we do. It’s a cliché of romance: He’s not the man I married!

Of course he’s not! But the superficial changes can distract us from seeing what is really important.

Let’s try applying the Google Search Tips to finding the things you love:

  1. Keep it simple. How do you want to feel? Happy? Secure? Excited? Start with broad strokes, and you can get more specific later.
  2. Search using your voice. Biggest lesson for getting what you want: Ask for it. Sure, you could find what you love all by yourself, keeping quiet. But wouldn’t it be more likely to happen if other people know about it and might be able to help you find it?
  3. Use friendly words. People are more interested in hearing about dreams than complaints.
  4. Don’t worry about the little things. If you focus too hard on the details of what you think you want, you’re likely to miss out on a whole lot of things that might also make you happy. Cherish the little things in every day that remind you of just how incredible the world we live in can be.

Now, I’m not all pollyanna here. As of this writing, there are more Syrians displaced from their homes than not, for example. There are many things to be concerned about, and sometimes they aren’t little things.

I believe the more you practice searching for the things you can love the stronger you are when it comes to dealing with the tough things.

What are you searching for? How can you improve your search? Worthwhile questions to take into the weekend with you.

I use my voice too, every weekend on the Love Life Practice Podcast! Take a listen, and let me know what you think. You can also get exclusive content by signing up to be a Patreon Supporter.

Defining Moment: Final Evaluations

The Consequence Hero

Everybody, sooner or later, sits down to a banquet of consequences.
– Robert Louis Stevenson

It’s one of the key principles of personal development, set down everyone from Aristotle to Covey: you are free to take action, but you are not free of consequences of those actions. Many a parent has shaken their head as they watch their children figure this out (sometimes repeatedly). Then again, many a rebellious child has looked up from their banquet of consequences with a defiant gleam in their eye and said “Yeah? Well it was worth it!” as they take up another bitter mouthful.

That’s what we’re hoping for with the Defining Moment. We’re hoping, when it’s said and done, that you’ll look at the results of your experience and see a whole banquet of consequences. We’re coming up, next week, to a Very Important Question, and so it’s worthwhile to pull out all the notes we made before we did the Defining Moment and checked out just how good our predictions were.

Equality of Expectations

A wise friend of mine believes that the key to successful relationships is equality of expectations. That is, if both parties know what to expect from each other and that’s what they actually get in reality, it will go well. The same relationship applies to your Defining Moment. Was it what you expected?

Don’t feel bad if it wasn’t. We (humans) are really bad at predicting what makes us happy. Dan Gilbert, in his book Stumbling on Happiness, blah blah, blahblah.

OK, look, the reality is: everyone I know who’s done this – myself included – has actually ended up enjoying their Defining Moment more than they expected. I always say that bit about “we’re bad predictors” just in case it doesn’t go that way sometime. But honestly? Way back in the beginning we made sure that the Defining Moment was rooted in passion. That’s in our gut, and your gut usually knows what you like, even if it can’t quite make your brain express it.

It’s likely that when you went through your Defining Moment you totally effed that ineffable something. It’s likely that you’ll actually discover that no, you didn’t expect to like it that much – nor did you expect the ways that you liked it.

But please, if you try this out and your Defining Moment turns out to be less than you expected, let me know. I’m interested in someday finding out what that might be like.

Implications

The implications fall into two categories: Expected and Surprises. We’ve already had a list of possible implications, and you can go down the list saying “Hmm…yep, that one, that one…no, that didn’t happen, but that did…” That process won’t take long, because you’ve already got the notes.

Back in my Big Hair days...

Back in my Big Hair days…

But then there’s the Surprises. Those are the implications that you didn’t predict. For example:  I agreed, almost twenty years ago, to perform with some other medieval musicians for a University play. Medieval music was my hobby, nothing more; I was busy being a single Dad and working in childcare. It will be fun, I thought, just a lark.

What I didn’t expect was that the minute I walked backstage the entire ambience of The Theatre would fill my senses, and lead me to eventually change my major (twice!) and end up with a degree in Dance.

That’s what I mean: an implication that isn’t expected, that means that something in your life is going to change because of what you’ve done in your Defining Moment. It’s actually a pretty scary moment; it’s like that time a certain someone walked into a room and your eyes met and something deep inside said My life just got a bit more complicated. That’s what happened to me when I walked backstage; I knew, deep down, that this was something I needed to have in my life. I spent months fighting it, telling myself it wasn’t reasonable or practical or realistic.

All of those things were true. But it was also necessary. That’s something about the Defining Moment – it’s a great way to learn more about what is necessary for you to be fulfilled in your life.

Unfortunately, what is necessary is often unrealistic, impractical, and unreasonable. That’s why blogs like this one exist. I promise, we’ll come back to this later.

Work It

The final part of this evaluation is a simple checklist. It should have two headings:

What worked?                 What didn’t?

Then just let your brain flow. “The performance came off well. Getting a babysitter was hard. My tenor recorder doesn’t want to stay in tune. Our rehearsals were fun!” Just go through your brain, adding things to the list, and for each one, it either worked, or it didn’t.

If you find yourself writing things that you’ve already put in Expectations or Implications, then you’re getting a little off the beaten path. Expectations were about how you felt about things. Implications were the results of things. The Effectiveness Evaluation is simply taking it action-by-action and asking yourself: did this work?

All of this is leading up to what we’re going to talk about next week: the Big Question. And when I say big, I mean it. It’s a doozy!

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succeed by showing up

The Numbers Game, part 1

Any technique will work, so long as you relentlessly work it. It’s a numbers game. That is, success is a pure function of the law of large numbers. – Nick Murray

The Universe likes to play with synchronicity. Ok, not really, but our brains like to pretend it does, and so I like to think it was kismet that led two respected colleagues of mine to say the same thing in two different ways. First was a colleague who doesn’t even know I exist: Steven Pressfield. His books on creativity, his tales of the publishing world, and his ongoing blog have been a major inspiration for me. Recently he wrote a blog about The Game of Numbers. It’s a reference to a business book of the same name, and the principle is so simple that it’s unsexy:

The rule is: Pick a constructive aim that you can control; then do it and keep doing it, regardless of immediate success or failure. In the end, the law of large numbers will kick in and you will win…Do not judge yourself or your work. At the end of the day, ask yourself one question only: “Did I do my pages today?” If you did, you have succeeded. Simple as that.

“Simple” is right – simple and absolutely dreary. It falls right into the “do the next thing” idea, though it focuses it a bit. Before writing this post, for example, my brain tried telling me “the next thing” should be installing a new theme on my word processor. Or responding to that comment on my blog. Or checking for interesting tweets. Or doing pilates. Or anything but what was really the next thing: writing this post.

courtesy Rodrigo Moraes  via Flickr CC

courtesy Rodrigo Moraes  via Flickr CC

Making the Calls

A few days after reading the blog post by Steven I was having a great talk with a new/old friend named Tom Kastle. He’s a musician and sailor, and travels a lot. We were talking about the various aspects of being an itinerant professional, particularly along the lines of lining up gigs. That’s the thing they forget to tell you when they talk about the romance of working for yourself: there’s always this ineffable cold darkness on the horizon, just past your last scheduled gig. It’s traveling towards you quickly, and the only way to push it back is to line up another gig. Tom’s to the point where he doesn’t have to worry about it much – people are happy to have him all over the world, because he’s both talented and professional. I’m almost to the point of not worrying about it much – because I can fake professionalism and talent pretty well while I work on actually developing both. But Tom told me of another friend, a friend who was actually kind of annoying. He didn’t seem too pleasant in manner, in voice, in personality – but he was immensely successful. In fact, Tom said, he’d once claimed to have done something like 267 gigs in one year. “I told him he was crazy,” Tom said. “No one could have done that many. Especially being his own agent. He looked at me and said ‘Yeah? I made sixteen booking calls before breakfast today. How many did you make?’” The Law of Big Numbers doesn’t play favorites. It’s not a popularity contest. It’s a sure-fire way to succeed, as long as you show up.

How to Become an Overnight Success

That’s the measure of my success here at Love Life Practice: three posts a week, Monday, Wednesday, Friday. There is no big end goal, no expectation that there will be a big payoff at the end. There are smaller payoffs, like my Patreon supporters and getting closer to completing my Defining Moment book. There’s a podcast now, which has been downloaded a whopping fourteen times; that’s three times the last time I checked! It’s ok. I don’t need to have Oprah notice me, or suddenly go viral (when, exactly, did that word become a good thing?). If you need a practical reason why you, too, should pick something to persist at, maybe the story of Darlena Cunha will help.

I wrote daily, on my own blog and for outfits like The Huffington Post, Thought Catalog and McSweeney’s, for free, lucky if a few hundred people read it. I was working my fingers off, even as my loved ones started to suggest I try something else. It had been five years, after all. Just as I was about to give up: boom.

That “boom” was her post not only becoming popular, reprinted, well-read – it became the most-read story of all time in the Washington Post. Think about that, next time you feel like quitting your creative endeavor, shutting down that blog, giving up on your dream, whatever it is. Really, though, I prefer to think of the term “overnight success” in a different way – back to that idea of numbers. Today I needed to produce a certain number of videos; to write a 500-word flash fiction piece; to consume less than 1500 calories; to create this blog post. When those numbers are hit, I can rest easily in the successes of the day overnight. Tomorrow is another chance to become an overnight success all over again.

The Next Thing, Framing Ferguson, & Seeing Love


This Love•Life•Practice podcast contains readings of the following posts:

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Send feedback or questions to gray@lovelifepractice.com.

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choosing to see love

A Child of the ’80′s Chooses Life

For me it happened at about age 15. I’d just finished what was the darkest year of my teenage angst, and I was not a happy camper. I had pouted and brooded my way most of the way through, unhappy with the same things as most ’80′s teens in the U.S. Nuclear proliferation, Iran contra, lack of access to MTV, whether or not Michelle actually liked me or was she just asking about algebra homework because I was a nerd…

I don’t know what it was exactly that turned the corner. I do remember feeling very alone, very hopeless. I was certain I would never be in love, because while all my friends seemed to be dating, I was the nerd, the weirdo. It may also have had something to do with being given the book Time Enough for Love by my Sunday school teacher. Whatever it was, it resulted into a personal manifesto: If no one’s going to love me, I’ll show them – I’ll love everybody!

Impeccable teen logic.

Beginning Studies in Loveology

I tackled it in exactly the same way I’d approached (and, to be fair, still approach) everything else that’s ever attracted my interest, from astronautics to small-businesses: immersion. I got books on love: Buscaglia, Moore, Bach, Aristotle, Hesse. I listened to love songs, not just between people but about life (Howard Jones became my obsession). I watched movies about love, read plays, studied Rilke and cummings and the sonnets. I cried at the end of Tennyson’s tale of Gareth and Lynette.

IMG_0839.JPGI changed the way I dressed, picking out ridiculous pastels and bright colors. I joined drama club, swing choir, I joined two jazz bands, madrigals, a barbershop quartet, I . Not satisfied with a basic knowledge of the birds and the bees, I studied advanced ornithology and entymology.

And did I love? Of course I did! I believed that everyone was capable of love. I knew that people were good, at heart, and even if they seemed to not be so good, they were like the Grinch, just waiting for their hearts to grow a size or two. Like many a book-learner I often mistook the map for the territory and ideas that looked great on paper that for some reason didn’t seem to work so well when faced with real live people with real live emotions.

I got hurt. I hurt others. Many of the lessons were learned the hard way. Many came with unexpected blessings, too. I wouldn’t trade my daughters for anything, for example – but I sure wish I’d been able to find an easier way to get them. I suspect my ex-wife does, too. Likewise I will always be proud to be a Marine – but that came at the price of several other dreams and aspirations.

All’s Well That Ends, Except It Doesn’t

While I like to think I’ve learned and improved my skills at love (short answer: it’s all about communication) I had it pointed out to me recently that I seem to have retained a basic optimism in regards to relationships. “You always tend to see and expect the best of people,” was the way it was expressed.

It surprised me. I’ve made a fairly extensive layman’s study of human and societal behavior, and if you asked me to describe human nature in one word, it would probably be ugly. If you gave me another word, I’d probably add fearful.

For me the outcome of all this research is definitely a kind of sadness and also worry that we can be too fast, we humans, we can get too fast into intergroup conflicts, which don’t make any sense to anyone, that we start to harm each other, that we start innocent people to kill each other for something that at the end of the day could have been decided in a much more reasonable way.

Benedikt Herrmann (quoted above from a Freakonomics Podcast), is a sociologist who coined the term homo rivalis to replace the idea of homo economicus. To put it another way, we aren’t so much motivated by what is good for us as the idea that we want to make sure the other guy has less.

It’s just an idea, of course, but it’s a remarkably easy one to accept given events like those in Ferguson, Missouri, or Gaza and the West Bank, or the Ukraine, or Syria, or Boston or any number of other places.

But it’s also why the third word I’d use to describe humanity is adversarial. We like to compete against challenges. When the challenges are natural, we work together to overcome them, and when things get too comfortable, we find something else to compete about. If we’re lucky it’s competitive farming, or who can raise the nicest children, but more often it’s more violent.

Choose Your Lens

That’s ok. That very adversarial nature is what makes some fight against the fear and ugliness to create beauty – through acts of heroism, charity, humor, kindness, which we can find everywhere. Especially in the areas where things are worst, because when it’s darkest it doesn’t take much more than a match to cut through the shadows and illuminate things.

So that’s why I choose to see the best in people. It’s selfish: I know it’s probably not true, but I enjoy my life more by looking at it that way. By choosing love over hate, generosity over scarcity, and optimism over pessimism. It’s not a blindness; rather it’s a deliberate way of seeing. Or, to put it another way:

Of course the game is rigged. But if you don’t play, you can’t win.
–Lazarus Long, Time Enough for Love

how to make sense of a chaotic world

Framing Ferguson

IMG_0835.PNG

It’s a troubling time in America. More than usual.

The events in Ferguson Missouri have affected not just the national dialogue on racism, on police, on the use of force, the right to protest, and what the term “civil rights” really means.

Yet I am hesitant to comment on it directly, for a variety of reasons. The biggest being *I am not there*. Instead I try to listen to the news sources, to the live feeds of protestors, to my friends who are affected to varying degrees. I certainly have my own opinions, but I’m aware that they are at best half-formed, affected by the ways news outlets portray the events as well as the ways people on the ground report what is happening to them.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but not every opinion is equally valuable. Similarly, everyone frames the story in their own way – but some frames are more useful than others.

Rough Edges

For example, one of the biggest head-shaking moments was when the police released a video that they alleged was Michael Brown aggressively robbing a store moments before he was shot. At the same time they acknowledged that the officer who did the shooting had not been aware of the robbery. The obvious question to follow was: then why bring it up? It was not only an attempt at a distraction, it was a clumsily obvious one.

Later investigative reporting revealed that even the irrelevant tape was an edited version. The portion that was cut out showed Michael Brown paying for the cigars he had allegedly stolen. Not only an attempt at a cover-up, a clumsy attempt at one.

And that’s just one tiny facet of the whole situation. It’s easy to want to just turn it off and tune it out. I know that following the #Ferguson hashtag on twitter is like trying to drive past a gruesome accident scene – you don’t want to look, but you can’t help it, whether it’s reading the atrocities happening at night or reading the atrocities uttered by hateful people during the day.

IMG_0836.JPG

A Bigger Container

About the only useful thing I can think of at a time like this is the cultivation of perspective. Understanding that this is not just about a scared cop and a young man. It is not just about law enforcement, it is not just about race, it is not just about anything. It is not new, it is simply current, and if we have any hope of reducing things from happening like this again it is through finding a place of understanding.

The most harmful thing I can think of would be to ignore it. To refuse to engage in dialogue, to pretend that it doesn’t affect you, wherever you are in the world. If the citizens of the West Bank and Gaza can pay attention, then you can, too. And the people involved – all of whom are human beings, scared, trying their best to make sense of chaos – deserve to be witnessed.

It’s also important to recognize that the world is full of dangers that we haven’t even thought of and also full of joy. It’s hard, but we can find room in our heart for both.

It’s good exercise. Try it out.

just do the next thing

I’m just no good at life! – almost everyone, at some point.

Eldest daughter has been having a rough time of it the last couple of days. With her permission, I get to share a little of it, because it’s a great illustration of a couple of solid survival practices.

But He’s My Little Baby!

First Grandson Harvey begins school in ten days. That makes it time to register, and if you’ve never experienced trying to get a child registered for school you’ve really missed out on some of the best examples of bureaucracy-in-action that our society has to offer. Health forms, questionnaires, releases, schedules, equipment lists, physical education waivers, instrument rentals, field trip forms…it’s truly a dizzying amount of paperwork. That’s at the best of times. My daughter was perfectly willing to jump through all the hoops and joyfully release her son into the wilds of the public school system, except for one obstacle: They didn’t believe in him. More to the point, they told her that she couldn’t register him without his birth certificate. She had his social security card, she had his immunization records, she even thought she could get a record of birth from the hospital in Arcata, CA, where he was born. But no, the administrator told her. It had to be a birth certificate. Nothing else was acceptable.

The Ragged Edge

Eldest Daughter's shared her crap with me since the day we met...

Eldest Daughter’s shared her crap with me since the day we met…

It was at this point that I’m very happy to say that Eldest Daughter called me. I’m happy that she thinks of me as a resource for her, and I talked with her about various options and strategies. We talked about the ways to try and get the record from Arcata (which looked to take months) but also about actions to take here. Who did we know in administration? Who could we bring with us to speak before the school board at the next public meeting? What were the options of home schooling him if we couldn’t get him enrolled this year? At the same time she was dealing with this overwhelming personal sense of failure. She felt that she had failed her son, that she’d ruined his life, that she was a bad mom. She said “I don’t know how you did it with the four of us, Dad, I can’t even do it with one!” That just about broke my heart. The last thing I ever want is for my daughter to hold up my experiences with the four of them as some kind of standard. Yes, I’m proud of the fact that they all ended up wonderful women – but that was despite the way they were raised, not because. However, I could give her one piece of advice: You wanna know how I did it? I just did the next thing in front of me. There was no big picture. The big picture was too bleak. The big picture was too much. But I could break it down into the next thing I had to do, and I did it. Over and over again, until it got less scary, until I started seeing those obstacles behind me, not in front of me. Fill out the next form. Cook the next meal. Wash the next dish. Whatever it took. So with Eldest Daughter we talked about making lists. There was a California list, with all the things that needed to happen to get the birth certificate. There was also the Madison list, with the phone calls and strategies for what to do if we couldn’t get the right paperwork. She calmed down, breathed, even when the dear boy came up and said “Mommy, why can’t I go to school?” I swear, children can be more cruel than anyone imagines.

Deus Ex Machina

This is the part where you know I am writing a blog about reality, not making stuff up. If I were creating this as a story, there would be a series of struggles overcome until a triumphant climax with lessons learned through perseverance and toil. Ad astra per aspera. Instead, a few minutes after I hung up the phone with a still-scared but more-prepared daughter, I got a text from her:

Oh good god. I just called the school back and asked “What’s it gonna take to let him start?” They put me on hold and she comes back and says “Oh, you know, what I said before was wrong – his immunization record will do fine.”

This was followed by another text:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

…which she later told me was the hysterical laughter that happened with the sudden relief of pressure. Because that’s the other reason to keep doing the next thing, and just keep doing it. Because there are forces out there moving in mysterious ways, and suddenly things can change completely. You can’t count on it – sometimes the miracle is just that you suddenly discover that you’ve done the last thing that you needed to do. But when it does happen, what else can you do but laugh? And then look around for what the new next thing is. When you don’t know what to do next, that means it doesn’t really matter. Just do the next thing, whatever it is.

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Rituals, Doing what you love, and “Far Enough”?

This Love•Life•Practice podcast contains readings of the following posts:

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